Anna Quindlen 

The Captain’s Log of the Anaglyph One will come to a pre-mature end today. I have had a LOT of fun doing it, however I misunderestimated the time and energy needed to do a blog in the manner I chose.

 I’m pondering the idea of printing the entire blog in a little 50 or 60 page booklet after I’ve edited grammatical errors and miscorrected all of the spelling.

Commander Lucky has been promoted by Starfleet to Captain and will be assigned her own command.

Lieutenant Stitch is retiring from the Starfleet and bought a small mouse ranch in the Catskills.
  

Smee has taken a temporary assignment in the St. Joe Sector in the Missouri Quadrant.

But who knows, we might just get a wild hair from time to time and jump a freighter to the rim of the galaxy and see what’s out there.

Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can
expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and  an eventual extinction.

Jean Dubuffet

- Galileo Galilei

Captain’s Log: Stardate 0828.07

The Crew and I are incommunicado. We have arrived at our destination: West Virginia Quadrant, Seneca Rocks Sector.

Starfleet, not having mapped this sector completely was not aware that this course has placed us directly adjacent a massive black hole. Our communications equipment is useless. Due to the proximity of the black hole and its thirst for photons, it is difficult to see due to the low light levels. (Fortunately, we have Lt. Stitch, and Cmdr. Lucky whose genetic make up is of great assistance in such conditions.) Our mission is to explore the Seneca Rocks region for which this Sector has been named. Document these rocks and report back to Starfleet our findings. Because of the massive amount of gravitational pull produced by the black hole directly in our path and it’s effect on photons and electrons, we will not be able to use the Orion for our away team. We have contracted with the resident sentient species to borrow a quadrupedal beast of burden known as a “whores”. We will be riding whoresback to the peak of our objective, photograph the whores at the peak and come back down for a greatly needed rest.

Capatin’s log Supplemental

After riding the whores and reaching the peak, the away team took shore leave in the small hamlet of Seneca Rocks. The inhabitants welcomed us with all four of their open arms. However we were taken aback when we discovered that eating lamb was punishable by death. Fortunately we discovered this taboo before any of the crew was forced to make the ultimate sacrifice. Unfortunately, our fortuitous fortune came by way of an unfortunate 3^rd class navigator from Ursa Major who apparently failed to check out the local mores before ordering dinner.

In honor of W.V. Blackbear 3^rd class navigator from Ursa Major who lost his life in service to Starfleet while ingesting illegal lamb. Stardate 0517.83

Fry Out.

                                                                                              Henry James

Captain’s Log

Stardate: 0828.07

Communications have been “spotty” (not Scotty) for the last few months as the crew and I have been making up for lost time we spent at Starfleet Command. 

We have been underway for a week now and have investigated more sectors than I care to mention.  (However I will.)

Commander Lucky and Navigator Stitch have been in cryogenic suspension more often than on duty, do to their delicate alien natures and our amount of time in warp drive.

Our first rendezvous was in the Michigan Quadrant; Iroquois Point Lighthouse sector. 

The Iroquians have developed a rudimentary space program that, no pun intended, is still at ground level.  It was difficult, at best, not to break the prime directive and “give them a clue.”  It would seem intuitively obvious to all but the most casual observer that stone and mortar would make escape velocity difficult to achieve.  I will give them an A+ for safety.  Their forward landing light is large enough to see for 20 parsecs.

Iroquois One next to Mission Control

 Iroquois One

Fry Out

Captain’s Log

Supplemental: 

Commander Lucky, while reviewing data collected from the Kansas Quadrant; Wichita sector, discovered what appears to be a space-time anomaly. 

In a rural setting in this sector, sitting in full view of our sensors, Cmdr. Lucky discovered what appears to be the Tin Man from Oz. 

After researching ancient tomes stored at Starfleet Command, Science Officer Lucky discovered that after Dorothy left Oz to return to Kansas, the Simi-Wicked Witch of the Southwest declared a Fatwa on Tin Man for his book “The Wicked Verses”.   Dorothy and the Man Behind the Curtain offered to put him in a witness protection program. 

After having undergone EXTENSIVE plastic surgery and given an alias, Tin Man now resides on the front porch of a farm in Dorothy’s home Quadrant of Kansas appearing to be nothing more than a Diesel funnel.

The master of the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.  He hardly knows which is which.  He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. 

-James A. Michener

Hippocrates (460 BC - 377 BC), Decorum

After a long hiatus, the USS Anaglyph and

it’s crew continue their five-year mission.

Captains Log

Stardate  0618.06 

The crew is happy to be underway again; as am I.  We were on the verge of becoming obese and indolent basking in the ever-present sun of the Tucson Sector.

We have made our way to the edge of this world; The Grand Canyon sector of the Arizona quadrant, and have established an observation post in a small hamlet whose moniker leaves no doubt as to the hardships we are facing….. Bedrock Camp. Even though we have been to this sector before, I had forgotten how primitive conditions here were. 

This sad and dilapidated village is but a parody of the proud people who once inhabited this harsh and desolate place.

The mighty gods born from nature that once ruled here such as AWONAWILONA (The One Who Contains Everything), COYOTE (The creator and teacher of men)   and NAGENATZANI (Elder Twin Brother) have been replace by Fred ( dumb), Barney (dumber), and Wilma (vacuous).

A colloquialism from 20^th century Earth sums it up nicely

“ ONE PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS”

BEFORE

AFTER

(so.. let’s see.. 5 pictures times 1k is equal to 5 thousand words, unless,

of course some of the pictures are larger. Then they might be worth more words….?)

At any rate, let’s move on to more agreeable news.  While in dry-dock Cmd. Lucky oversaw renovation of the mess deck.  We now have a little portion of Mother Earth to carry with us on our voyage to strange and unknown spaces.  We have a  FRONT LAWN!  Although I must note that Cmd. Lucky has taken a proprietary interest in this new addition and I am concerned that it will soon become an obsession if action is not taken soon.

                                                 Groucho Marx

Captains Log

Stardate 0418.07

An away team consisting of Ambassador O’Brien and myself took the Orion on a fact-finding mission through the New Mexico Quadrant. First Contact was made in the Socorro Sector when we came upon a fledgling space exploration installation known by the local inhabitants as the VERY Large Array…or VLA. 

 This quaint but effective method for space exploration uses antique radio waves to determine the composition of various heavenly bodies.  If it was not against the Prime Directive I would have saved them the trouble and simply given them all the knowledge they craved in one word…..

CHEESE.

 We proceeded to our next destination (The Pie Town Sector) under impulse power.

To our great surprise and delight we found the Pietownians’ main occupation is making small round foods consisting of a grain crust and stuffed with whatever edible fruit and nut like fillings were available. I tested the “Apple Crunch” and found it fascinating.

We then proceeded in the Orion at warp 3 to the White Sands Sector where we spent the night with the Main Dunchee on Dunchee Mountain.

Early the next morning we were treated to some sort of  “Pancake Balls”….. interesting.

Fry Out.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend.

Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

 Graffito

Captain’s log

Stardate 0306.07

It is difficult to wash off the time you find on your hands.

Fry OUT

Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.

Leonardo da Vinci

William James

Captain’s Log

Stardate: 0118.07

We are still situated in the Tucson Sector of the Arizona Quadrant. Crew morale is low. We must get on with our mission or I fear I might have a mutiny on my hands.

First Class Navigator Stitch has been mimicking Commander Lucky’s every move. This so irritated Cmdr. Lucky that she decided to teach him a lesson. Being a consummate acrobate, Cmdr. Lucky waited until Lt. Stitch was observing her and then proceeded to reprise the low gravity routine she had used to win a gold medal in the 05 Galactic Olympics. (An arial double twist with an inverted worm hole negative G backflip followed by a warp 5 sommersault to pluto and back with a triple Pirouette dismount). After Cmdr. Lucky finished her routine she left the holo-deck; went back to her quarters; turned on the inter-ship viewer and dialed in the holo-deck. True to his current form, Lt. Stitch was trying to mimic her every move. The end result is that Lt. Stitch pulled two of his four hamstrings and bloodied his nose. I later called him to my quarters and counseled him not to be such a copycat and to find something that he could do that would give him a sense of his own identity.

Later that evening as I entered the mess deck I realized that my words of encouragement had been in vain. He had only listened to half of what I had said and had misunderstood even that.

Lt. Stitch AKA Coffee Cat.

Fry Out. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde

 – Helen Keller

Stardate 1223.06 0800hrs.

INCOMING MESSAGE

WHITE SANDS QUADRANT

SENDING INTITY

                                                                                                          The Dunshee 

Disseminator of All Knowledge

Master Debater

                                                                                            &

All Around Good Cookie

Priority:

Alpha 3

 Security Clearance:

Beta Foxtrot

SUBJECT

Specimens for analysis per your request.

Set course to rendezvous with SS FedUps on Stardate: 1223.06 1300 hours.

The Dunshee, DAK, MD, AAGC

Out.

We are so impressed by scientific clank that we feel we ought not to say that the sunflower turns because it knows where the sun is. It is almost second nature to us to prefer explanations . . . with a large vocabulary. We are much more comfortable when we are assured that the sunflower turns because it is heliotropic. The trouble with that kind of talk is that it tempts us to think that we know what the sunflower is up to. But we don’t. The sunflower is a mystery, just as every single thing in the universe is. –Robert Farrer Capon